Chris Chambers in Steve Balderson's action crime comedy "Culture Shock."When was the last time you stayed at a job, in a relationship or pursuit of a goal that cost you more than what you earned from doing it?
How many times have you said to yourself “maybe tomorrow things will improve” only to wonder what happened along the way? No one in their right mind would continue in an undesirable situation or on an unforgiving path, yet, I find myself wondering what I’m doing making movies.
Let it be clear that when I say movies and/or film, I’m referring to independent films. This is not to discount or deny the many difficulties that take place on studio-backed movies in Hollywood. Martin Sheen collapsed from a heart attack during the production of Francis Ford Coppola’s “Apocalypse Now” -- in a tumultuous turn of events that also included Coppola suffering an epileptic seizure; the untimely deaths of Paul Walker and Philip Seymour Hoffman have the forces in tinsel town scrambling to salvage the next installments in the “Fast and Furious” and “Hunger Games” franchises. If it’s hard for the big-wigs, then it’s ten times more difficult for those of us who are trying to make our own way outside of the “system.”
Independent films take so long, require a seemingly never-ending stream of sacrifices and we (filmmakers) have to overcome obstacle after obstacle without ever knowing if we’ll achieve our goals. Maggie Hadleigh-West and her camera crew were robbed at gunpoint during their first day of production on a documentary. Audiences in Washington D.C. got up out of their seats, yelled expletives, threw things at the screen and then walked out of the theater during a showing of Steve Balderson's comedy drama “Watch Out.” I haven’t begun to even scratch the surface in terms of creating a body of work where motion pictures are concerned. Based on the difficulties that I’ve had to deal with so far, however, I’m wondering – what’s it all really worth?
Joseph Gordon-Levitt on the set of his directorial debut 'Don Jon.'I often find myself questioning whether or not I want to do this again. So, during April, I will be sharing my observations on the 26 (or less) reasons why writers, directors and/or producers make movies. In these posts, I also aim to include the perspectives of fine, visual and performance artists at various stages in their careers. It is by exploring such observations on filmmaking from A-Z that I hope you will walk away with at least one -- if not two things:
- Knowledge of a new or little known movie, album, book or related work that you want to check out
- Inspiration to apply aspects of the subject matter to an area of your own life and/or goals
For me, I’m just trying to figure out how to justify or make sense of the ongoing stumbling blocks, rejections, isolation and closed doors that I face at every step of the way in my projects. Maybe it’s the universe telling me that I need to do something else. Maybe it’s a challenge that is meant to aid in my growth and prepare me for the next steps. Maybe I’m just looking at it all wrong or neglecting things that I should be paying more attention to. Maybe I have different goals than when I started pursuing film.
Or maybe, just maybe I don’t know what I want. No matter the case, I do know one thing – the need to figure out a justification for this masochistic path called moviemaking is urgent like a motherfucker.
When (and even before) a film is in the can, it seems like nobody even cares. Filmmakers have to constantly be on-the-go, trying like hell to convince people to watch our work, while all along hoping that they end up liking it or some aspect therein. It reminds me of the Linkin Park song – “I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.”
We bust our butts to make these movies and then in the end, it doesn’t matter because it seems like no one wants to be bothered watching them or buying them or renting them.
If people don’t want to be bothered checking out independent films, and crews are reluctant to work on them, and actors don’t want to help make these projects be all they can be, and media/industry/communities won't cover our work and theaters/TV channels aren't interested in paying these projects any mind, then why should we even bother making them? This is the question that leads to the central focus of my 2014 Blogging from A-to-Z Challenge theme. So find yourself a good seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show!
Also, you might want to keep the kids away because the upcoming posts are approved for audiences age 17 or older. There will not be blood but there will likely be strong language. Reader discretion is advised. I approved this message.
Photos ('Culture Shock' and 'Don Jon,' respectively) courtesy of Anthony Pedone and Daniel McFadden ©2013 Relativity Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.