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My Own Prison
Tuesday, December 25, 2007 at 5:50AM 
As this year comes to and end and a new one arrives, I've looked back on these last 12 months and am disappointed with what has been accomplished. There were plans for a few online videos, short movies and at least a second draft of this awesome screenplay for a feature length movie that I want to produce. It seems that the reasons for this lack of accomplishment can only be attributed to less determination and life in general. Oh, I almost forgot to add the short documentary into the list of projects to be worked on this year. Now, the short documentary is completed, but has been in a distribution limbo since earlier this year. That is due to much procrastination on my part and expenses that seem to amass with no ending in sight.
After attempting to survive on the work-at-home and freelance gigs, it has become apparent that they will not keep me afloat when it comes to the cost of living. Even if they can be taken to that point, there is nothing left over to even grant one purchase of a DV videotape or food for actors. Therefore, I have decided to apply for "regular" jobs only to find much difficulty in that. Where has that landed me? Not any further than I was in high school. This seems to raise a feeling of being stuck in one place in life forever. I did not take out loans to attend school and obtain higher education only so that I could end up working a cash register and making not much over the minimum wage rate to live. There has to be a better way. As I try to figure out where to take this and what the next step will be, I can only hope that something better will come in the new year. Back to the mission at hand....Independent Filmmaking.
The plans are minimal but realistic and steady, which can foster more productivity on each project. The only thing standing in the way of completing these projects are willpower and empty mugs where lots of tea and ginseng should be. What a huge roadblock I have created for myself. At the end of the day, I don't feel like working on a script, turning on a camera, setting a production in motion or even writing this blog. That is not good and will have to change for something to be different in 2008.
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