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Thursday
May192011

It's a Wonderful Life - Part 2

On Tuesday, I wrote about my favorite black and white movie called "It's a Wonderful Life" along with a brief tidbit on why I like it. It's not unusual to hear people talk about life in a way that makes it seem like a great experience that is such a gift. Life is wonderful.....or, is it really?

Often times, the reality of life and all that comes with it does not seem so wonderful in my opinion. A few years ago, I said "life sucks" to one friend and then she responded to me with "life is what you make it." After spending some time thinking about this statement and philosophy, I've come to believe that while this may have some truth to it in theory, it is not the case in practice. Life, especially in our western society and many other developed nations, can be controlled by the living but only to a certain extent. Many aspects of life are out of the control of living human beings.

Work
All recessions and messed up economies aside, work is easy to come by. We can get a job, start a business, offer a service or product of some kind in exchange for money or goods (yes, goods...I learned that some communities still use the barter system, so depending on where you live, it appears that you can get your hair done and pay for it with a carton of eggs). So, obtaining work is not all that hard and many aspects of the work force are controlled by us because we decide whether or not we work, where we work and who we work for.

Business owners have an advantage since they can control their own fate, professionally speaking. Wage workers and other employees (on commission, etc.) are probably the least likely to have a life that is what they make it since employees are at the mercy of the companies or people that they work for. Take what is happening at Borders bookstores for example. The company filed for bankruptcy, so now there are probably thousands of employees who are looking for new jobs since many Borders locations have closed or are in the process of closing.

Let's say someone is working as a personal assistant for an interior designer and all of a sudden, the interior designer relocates, goes to jail or dies. Now, the assistant is out of a job. This is not a reflection of "life is what you make it," it to me.

Finance
Since money is replaceable, finances are right in line with the concept of life being what you make it. We can lose money, save money, earn money, receive money, spend money and do it all over again so this is an area where the ability to control ones life is pretty simple.

Social life
Making friends starts as early as kindergarten for many people and there also lies that group of friendships that are made with neighbors or kids participating in extra curricular activities within communities. What I learned growing older into adulthood however, is that developing friendships are relatively easy......maintaining these friendships is hard. I guess it all depends on the friend, so this is a tricky area where life can be what we make it or it may be out of our control.

Romance
Finding a romantic partner is similar to having friendships since romantic relationships have to develop over time and also be maintained. However, you can't make someone love you or want to be in a relationship with you. This right here can be a huge a problem, especially for those who want to have children or get married or have a companion or a significant other whom they can trust and share their life with. I can imagine someone reading this post and thinking "Yeah right, I CAN make someone love me" or "I CAN make someone be with me"....but that is not romance or love or whatever you call it. That is manipulation.

It appears that the more personal aspects of life are the difficult areas in which life is not what we make it. I wonder how many men and women can relate to this, how many agree and how many disagree.

Some of you may be reading this and wondering what in the world does this post have to do with movies. Well, I never watched "It's a Wonderful Life" until after having a conversation with someone a few years ago who recommended that I watch this movie and I'm glad I did because it is a good film. Still, the next time that someone tells me that everyday that one wakes up is a good day, I'm going to scream....because life is not some sappy Christmas movie. It's not wonderful! If it were, it would be like that all of the time. Life is full of wonderful moments but life in itself is hard.

A wonderful life (in my opinion) is one where you can't wait to get up the next day and you excitedly welcome every new day as it comes. It is great that many men and women may have this experience but the truth is everyone has not gotten that far, so it's not yet wonderful until that happens.

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Reader Comments (2)

You and your friend are both right.

I have always considered life as only 10% in my control. The biggest out of control factor is other people and there are almost 7 billion others in this world. People would include work, romance, and social life and even to some extent finance since the value of money is out of an individual's control. Then there is weather on and on.

But life too is what one makes it. Work on that small part you control and it will expand. The bad news is the more one knows the more one is aware they do not know so it seems the 10% never changes. And one may attempt to influence others which is sometimes successful- but not recommended for romance which is best when 2 individuals are of like mind.

One is less likely to be melancholy if one focuses on changing that which is in their control.

The movie is make believe as are virtually all movies. Even documentaries are the maker's perspective. But we still enjoy and learn from them.

May 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRichard

Richard,

I didn't take weather into consideration and I appreciate you bringing that up regarding aspects of life that are out of one's control.
You make a good point about the value of money being out of one's control too and that is something that I thought about maybe last month or so after watching some online videos where young men discuss the state of the U.S. economy in relation to other parts of the world and the alternative types of currency that could or would be of some value if the dollar or euro or pound, etc. loses value.

I have a hard time believing that working on that small part (10%) will expand the rest because it makes me think about the times when I hear people say things like "focus on this (or that) and the rest will fall into place".....it never does, in my opinion and experience.

However, I can understand how focusing on changing that which is in our control is beneficial to reducing the likelihood of being in a melancholy state.....and I like it. From my understanding of this, it seems that if one only pays attention to what is in his or her control, than they won't have the time or interest in focusing on anything else. Hopefully my understanding of this is in line with what you meant by your statement but if not, then I'll have to think about this some more, lol.

I agree with your observation on movies and their fictional status.

May 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

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