Sunday Synopsis: 52 Weeks to Live, Technical Hurdles and Movie Snacks

@MadlabPostOver the years I've made New Year's resolutions but didn't consider them to be “resolutions.” They were more like mental notes comprised of broken promises to myself that spilled over from the previous 365 days and rarely changed....make more money, be more productive, work smarter, be happier, be nicer to my mother, and overall be a different and better version of myself than I was in years past.

Mostly, however, I resolved to doing something big and life-changing. It must be something so epically awesome that I would finally be able to look back on my life when New Year's Eve rolled around again, and be proud of what I accomplished and who I became. This rarely, if ever happened and is an unfortunately reality of my tendency to approach end-of-year moments with a sense of disappointment at all that I lost, all that I missed out on and all that did not get done.

So this year, I decided to do something different by vowing to myself that I would just let go of the wheel and live life on a whim. No goals. No resolutions. Just going with the flow of wherever the day takes me. That way, I would lower the risk of being disappointed at the end, right?! By mid-January, however, I became anxious because it felt like I was walking around aimlessly with no care in the world…which may seem ideal in theory but as it turns out, all this does it make you bored as hell. So this New Year's declaration of freedom from concrete goals  led to apathy; the transition was too extreme and laid back for me. So I chucked that plan in favor of one that gives me a sense of direction without having to worry about whether certain things get done or not. This plan, vow or whatever it shall be called, is to live like I will be dead in a year.

Storyboard frames I worked on a while ago for short video assignments.Wanting to embark on a 52 week project that would make me excited about life led me to several possibilities. I considered writing poems, drawing pictures, making mini-movies or completing several television episodes in 52 weeks and even doing random jobs like Sean Aiken did but none of these ideas felt like they would stick. Most importantly, they appeared to be focused on a single quest of sorts that might not even matter to me by the time it's all said and done. So, I decided to make my 52 week project about doing the best with what I have.

Rather than chasing a particular career-oriented goal or pursuing life-affirming goal, I intend to basically figure out what would truly matter to me if my doctor told me I would be kicking the bucket in 365 days, and in turn focus on the things that I want to do before I die. What would make me as content on my deathbed as Maggie in Million Dollar Baby was following one of her critical hospital visits? That is the question I aim to answer during such a fairly short period of time. To some this may seem like a morbid way to approach the day but it's the only thing I can think of that will give me the kick in the butt that will lead me toward taking action and not giving in to the bullshit that gets us sidetracked on whatever we want to make of our life. Plus, I've been on a path to prepare for death for some time since realizing how much our society is made up of millions of people who are either in denial of or fear (or both) of their eventual demise.

I just want to speed up my awareness so that I don't waste more time and look back on my life with anger, disappointment and sorrow every time New Year's Eve rears its burdensome head. While I understand that for some people, birthdays also come with a lot of mental and emotional turmoil, it doesn't really matter what occasion sparks a sudden sense of urgency, reflection and regret....they’re all in the way of peace and happiness. This reminds me of a book I read in 2012 called One Year to Live by Stephen Levine -- one of my most favorite pieces of non-fiction. During that year I also read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl and later recorded a video, discussing Levine's book, plans for this blog going forward as well as the state of my outlook on where I was at that time and much gratitude to those of you who read this blog.

Clock image courtesy of Niklas RhöseAlthough I could not bring myself to post the whole video here, for a few reasons, I'm adding a shortened clip about the book. It’s funny how we like to put off the reality that we won't live forever. I began my 52 week project in June after pushing it back for some abstract date in the future when it seemed more convenient for me. Aren't we so lucky to have the luxury of believing that there will always be time to get started on a task?!

It sounds fine and dandy except there isn't an infinite amount of time for anyone on this earth so I deliberately wrote down reminders of this project so I can start counting the days, or weeks rather, that I have left to live out my life. It was a Friday, June 5th. Up until then, I didn't think I was ready. I wanted to wait until my hair was washed, until the laundry was done, until my meal planning was underway and until I had the morning ritual, daily practice and business tips that have been working on in the bag.

But if I kept waiting until the right time or the perfect time, I will not only have delayed the act of "living" life as opposed to being philosophical about it, waiting would also cause me to end up looking back at my life on New Year's Eve 2015 and wondering, yet again, where all the time went. There came a time in June when I had to stop playing games and face this thing head on, regardless of whether I was ready to do so or not. That's the thing about time. It's always moving. We either have to move with it or we'll get left behind. Either way, the world turns and we'll be sure to miss out if we're not paying attention. Many people are hit hard by this realization on their deathbed.

(Some of) The video I recorded in 2012:

Just looking back at the last month, I wasted a lot of time in June. That is unnecessary. When put in the perspective of having 52 weeks to live, that's four weeks and 30 days already gone, which leaves around 47 weeks remaining. The clock is ticking. What am I going to get into during this time? Whatever I feel like being involved in. Although I still haven't zeroed in on all I’d like to experience before my 52 weeks have come to a close, I do know that my actions, thoughts and behavior should be predicated on one simple question: Is this the last thing I want to be doing?

My year-long death sentence will go by much smoother and be more fulfilling if I do things I want to do and not do anything that I don't want to do. It is such a simple concept that a lot of people understand and agree with but, unfortunately, do not put into practice and I am one of these people. That all must change. How many things do you do in a week that you really would much rather not do? I'd be willing to bet there are at least one or two activities or habits that you would love to drop. Lucky for me, blogging is one of the things that I do want to do and so this will remain until it doesn't anymore.

I like blogging, discussing movies and different subjects with people and I like the feedback that I've gained from doing so as well as the new things I've learned from readers who leave insightful comments here. So of course, that's why I'm aggravated at the computer difficulties I've experienced since Spring that have worsened, making it harder for me to blog as well as I would like. Among the items on my editorial calendar for this is a new series about movie theater concessions; I planned to run the series over the course of one week. Unfortunately, the computer I use to blog on is usually as slooooow as snails, which makes the research, writing of several drafts, formatting the final piece and publishing the post, a much longer process. Sometimes it feels like I'm using dial-up….even when offline.

The snack themed week is now a long-running series titled "Popcorn & Paninis."Because the computer goes at its own pace, I have to adjust the way I blog and that means this will have to be converted into an ongoing series of posts that go up as they are completed. Hence, what was Snack Week is now Popcorn & Paninis. On one hand, this also makes room for us to discuss various topics involving food as it relates to the motion picture industry, beyond the snack counter.

On the flipside, it’s still upsetting to have to drag out something that I’ve been planning for at least two months. There are cell phones that operate much faster than the computer on which I use to blog. That’s bad. Especially since aside from being ridiculously slow, it crashes frequently and turns off abruptly whenever it wants to on other occasions. I know I need a computer. However, I also need some furniture and am planning to travel out of town, so unless some miracle happens, that computer won't be had anytime in the near future. Just know this....new installments to the Popcorn & Paninis series are still in the works and will be posted between this week and the next. Meanwhile, John Legend said it best when he uttered...

We’re just ordinary people. We don’t know which way to go. ‘Cause we’re ordinary people. Maybe we should take it slow!

Zero to Done: An Off-the-Wall Roundup of Blogging Techniques, Motion Pictures and Philosophies that Got Me Through April

Comedian Lilly Singh aka Superwoman inspired my A-to-Z Challenge Letter B post titled "How to Bounce Back Like a Boss." / Photo: The FotographerzToday marks my fifth consecutive year completing 26 days of blogging as a participant in the annual A-to-Z Challenge. This time around, I had zero interest in writing blog posts revolving around one central topic – hence my Mixed Bag of Tricks theme for 2015. Still, getting through the entire alphabet would have been impossible without a little bit of structure, which I attribute to dozens of April blog prompts that Sara Lancaster at No. 2 Pen suggests for companies seeking tips on writing daily content. Although I did not utilize all of her 30 blog ideas, here is a summary of the roles they played in my editorial calendar.

Sara believes you know what to do on April Fool’s Day (Prompt #1), so I took this opportunity to highlight Foolish Acts People Pull at Movie Theaters Across America for Letter A. By combining her suggestion to write ten actionable tips that help your readers do something better (Prompt #4) with the push to talk about a website you really like (Prompt #27) – what makes it cool, different and worth a visit -- I put a spotlight on depression for Letter B by showing readers three ways to Bounce Back in Life Like a Boss, based on the practices of an actress and Youtube comedian I think is one of many women who rock.

Upon her recommendation of doing a blog post on topics that are recognized in April including National Autism Awareness Month, National Poetry Writing Month, National Arab American Heritage Month and National Child Abuse Prevention Month (Prompt #3), my Letter C poem asking Who Cries for the Little Children? merged two of these subjects while highlighting movies starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Denzel Washington.

The A-to-Z Challenge blog post I wrote for Letter D lists rude behaviors at the movie theater that make you want to scream.The post I wrote for Letter D was under the same direction of helpful tips for readers (Prompt #4), providing three ways to Dodge Those Douchebags at Movie Theaters. It could also be could be considered a sequel to the April 1^st discussion about people behaving foolishly at the multiplex.

One of Sara’s other suggestions include asking your readers to send in questions (Prompt #6) and then turning them into Q&A style blog posts. Since I have dozens of Co-Host introduction questions leftover from the ladies and gents who were a part of my Mighty Minion Bureau, I just answered them in video and then posted some in a playlist titled “A-Z Extras!” for Letter E.

While mentioning infographics (Prompt #2) Sara recommends doing a blog post summarizing how you created and promoted your infographic. Luckily, I was already working on one to send to the folks involved in a disaster relief initiative I conducted. So for Letter F, I just posted an abridged version of that infographic showing an overview of my American Red Cross Fundraiser from Start to Finish.

The topic for Letter G had to be switched at the last minute due to technical difficulties, a lack of research materials and my own sudden bout of stubbornness. While I must say that Netflix was a life saver, I skipped the prompts for that day’s blog post and decided to just wing it. This led to a discussion on Getting in the Game, where DVDs are concerned. Back on schedule, providing tips for readers on doing something better (Prompt #4) seemed to be one of my go-to recommendations from Sara. However, rather than making a list style post for Letter H, I decided to teach readers How to Have a Heart, using a movie with Ben Affleck and Samuel L. Jackson to illustrate some points in paragraph form.

The companion books to Spike Lee Joints such as Do the Right Thing are featured in my A to Z Challenge post for Letter X.In another recommendation, Sara says to write a post demystifying any misconceptions people have about your business (Prompt #9) and she has another tip of posting a roundup of links to interesting articles you’ve read (Prompt #19). By now, it had become hard to write and schedule my posts in advance so making a link roundup of sorts highlighting 15 Insane Misconceptions about Indie Films that were already addressed by industry experts, saved me a lot of time on Letter I.

Writing about being a Jack of all Trades, for Letter J, was another one of those random blog posts I just whipped up at the last minute without utilizing any of Sara’s prompts. When Letter K rolled around it was time for my (bi)weekly Monday Movie Meme, so the focus was on Random Acts of Kindness, which had been loosely inspired by one of my Mighty Minion Bureau assets Vidya Sury.

Whatever topic you blogged about two years ago, Sara wants it to be revisited with a twist (Prompt #28), so I based my Letter L post about Leaning on the Film Festival Circuit was influenced by a post I wrote in 2014, asking readers to X out of the Cineplex for once. Sara also recommends reminding your readers about tax day or sharing your views about it (Prompt #15). Since I doubt anyone in America wants to be reminded about taxes, my Letter M post discussed concerns about choosing between Making a Living vs. Making a Difference.

Among Sara’s many suggestions for April, the one where she says to visit Psychology Today and find a piece of research that you can relate to your business or clients (Prompt #29), had piqued my interest for Letter N. Using that particular prompt, I wrote some Notes on Psychological Nuances that might help me make a TV show I’m working on -- about emergency preparedness -- more interesting because the subject matter isn’t exactly sexy.

The Bourne film series is highlighted in my A-to-Z Challenge post for Letter O.Sara also recommends joining a leads group and writing about every person and business in your group (Prompt #11). Since I’m not a member of many business related organizations, I used her tip to feature the ladies in my Mighty Minion Bureau in my Letter O post while also describing why the Jason Bourne movies led to me classifying them as “Operatives.” 

Sara suggests that businesses look up the lyrics of a popular song on the radio and then blog about how it inspires them (Prompt #13). I frequently listen to J. Cole’s music, so my blog post for Letter P uses his song “Love Yourz” as the basis for some Perspectives on Switching Career Paths.

Writing the blog post for Letter Q was less about going along with any prompts and more about supporting adequate representation of the LGBT and Queer communities on the silver screen. Letter R was all about those actionable tips for readers again (Prompt #4) and this time I listed six alternative Running Routes Aside from the Rocky Balboa Steps in Philly.

Since April 22^nd is Earth Day, Sara asks how you’re doing your part (Prompt #22). So for Letter S, I took this opportunity to put a spotlight on the fact that we are all filthy creatures, which is the kind of Shit I Don’t Like about Society. In another tip, Sara suggests to write what you learned about a business mistake you’ve made (Prompt #23), my Letter T post includes some lessons on The Time I Played at an Empty Movie Theater.

The vampire fantasy film series Underworld was the subject of my A-to-Z Challenge posts for Letters U and V.One of Sara’s most interesting tips include identifying the top keywords for your website and playing around with headlines for them (Prompt #12). My analytics reports some crazy keywords that are searched by people who land on my blog including phrases like “Ving Rhames in the Shower,” “Why Denzel Did Not Become a Doctor,” and “Rihanna You Can See My Heart.”

Thankfully, there were some keywords I could work with such as “Underworld Father,” which I used for Letter U to provide some Unorthodox Parenting Advice from the Father in Underworld. Playing around with Sara’s recommendation to make a list of 100 things that are relevant to your business or blog (Prompt #24) was also fun. Using this prompt, my Letter V post was an exercise in putting together a piece comprised of 100 words or less. The result is a spotlight on actor Bill Nighy’s statements about what the makeup department did to turn him into Viktor the Vampire for those Underworld movies. This may very well be one my shortest A-to-Z Challenge posts ever!

For Letter W, I was inspired by something I heard comedian Corey Holcomb say, to illustrate my points in When Your Way Ain’t Working. Returning to Sara, I used her tips on making a list of books you want to read and why (Prompt #30) to highlight why companion books to Spike Lee Joints are the Xanax of My TBR Pile, for Letter X. Sara’s recommendation on writing about song lyrics that inspire you (Prompt #13) was, yet again, the basis for my Letter Y blog post about reminding people that YES, You Can Do Anything!

Z is for ZeroAs you can see, I didn’t follow Sara’s prompts to the tee but rather used them to generate ideas that would fit my blogging needs when necessary. The ideas behind some of the pieces I wrote were either inspired by other sources or based on whatever approach I thought would be best to take at the time, including this post for Letter Z.

Writing and/or arranging 26 blog posts that vary in topic and each coincide a different letter of the alphabet is hard enough. The real challenge (within a challenge…go figure!) lies in keeping these posts interesting on a daily basis. Yet, I somehow managed to get it done. I won’t try to speak for anyone else but I’d say that’s not too shabby for someone who blogged without a theme this year.

Congratulations to every blogger who made it from Letters A through Z during April!

Why Make Movies? An A-to-Z Challenge Theme Reveal

Chris Chambers in Steve Balderson's action crime comedy "Culture Shock."When was the last time you stayed at a job, in a relationship or pursuit of a goal that cost you more than what you earned from doing it?

How many times have you said to yourself “maybe tomorrow things will improve” only to wonder what happened along the way? No one in their right mind would continue in an undesirable situation or on an unforgiving path, yet, I find myself wondering what I’m doing making movies.

Let it be clear that when I say movies and/or film, I’m referring to independent films. This is not to discount or deny the many difficulties that take place on studio-backed movies in Hollywood. Martin Sheen collapsed from a heart attack during the production of Francis Ford Coppola’s “Apocalypse Now” -- in a tumultuous turn of events that also included Coppola suffering an epileptic seizure; the untimely deaths of Paul Walker and Philip Seymour Hoffman have the forces in tinsel town scrambling to salvage the next installments in the “Fast and Furious” and “Hunger Games” franchises. If it’s hard for the big-wigs, then it’s ten times more difficult for those of us who are trying to make our own way outside of the “system.”

Independent films take so long, require a seemingly never-ending stream of sacrifices and we (filmmakers) have to overcome obstacle after obstacle without ever knowing if we’ll achieve our goals. Maggie Hadleigh-West and her camera crew were robbed at gunpoint during their first day of production on a documentary. Audiences in Washington D.C. got up out of their seats, yelled expletives, threw things at the screen and then walked out of the theater during a showing of Steve Balderson's comedy drama “Watch Out.” I haven’t begun to even scratch the surface in terms of creating a body of work where motion pictures are concerned. Based on the difficulties that I’ve had to deal with so far, however, I’m wondering – what’s it all really worth?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt on the set of his directorial debut 'Don Jon.'I often find myself questioning whether or not I want to do this again. So, during April, I will be sharing my observations on the 26 (or less) reasons why writers, directors and/or producers make movies. In these posts, I also aim to include the perspectives of fine, visual and performance artists at various stages in their careers. It is by exploring such observations on filmmaking from A-Z that I hope you will walk away with at least one -- if not two things:

• Knowledge of a new or little known movie, album, book or related work that you want to check out

• Inspiration to apply aspects of the subject matter to an area of your own life and/or goals

For me, I’m just trying to figure out how to justify or make sense of the ongoing stumbling blocks, rejections, isolation and closed doors that I face at every step of the way in my projects. Maybe it’s the universe telling me that I need to do something else. Maybe it’s a challenge that is meant to aid in my growth and prepare me for the next steps. Maybe I’m just looking at it all wrong or neglecting things that I should be paying more attention to. Maybe I have different goals than when I started pursuing film.

Or maybe, just maybe I don’t know what I want. No matter the case, I do know one thing – the need to figure out a justification for this masochistic path called moviemaking is urgent like a motherfucker.

When (and even before) a film is in the can, it seems like nobody even cares. Filmmakers have to constantly be on-the-go, trying like hell to convince people to watch our work, while all along hoping that they end up liking it or some aspect therein. It reminds me of the Linkin Park song – “I tried so hard and got so far but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.”

We bust our butts to make these movies and then in the end, it doesn’t matter because it seems like no one wants to be bothered watching them or buying them or renting them.

If people don’t want to be bothered checking out independent films, and crews are reluctant to work on them, and actors don’t want to help make these projects be all they can be, and media/industry/communities won't cover our work and theaters/TV channels aren't interested in paying these projects any mind, then why should we even bother making them? This is the question that leads to the central focus of my 2014 Blogging from A-to-Z Challenge theme. So find yourself a good seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy the show!

Also, you might want to keep the kids away because the upcoming posts are approved for audiences age 17 or older. There will not be blood but there will likely be strong language. Reader discretion is advised. I approved this message. 

Photos ('Culture Shock' and 'Don Jon,' respectively) courtesy of Anthony Pedone and Daniel McFadden ©2013 Relativity Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.