Victim Playing Characters. Which One are YOU?

'V' is for Victim, specifically Playing the Victim and/or Self-Victimization and how you can use movies to diagnose your own problem AND find inspiration to make improvements.

A conversation I had yesterday.......well, argument actually with a relative recently helped me to overcome my slight writer’s block for today’s A to Z Challenge letter. One of my pet peeves are playing victim or blaming other individuals or groups of people for problems, circumstances or difficulties to do better.

The thing is, we all probably do it at one time or another throughout life. I know I’ve done it but I am grateful that I at least acknowledge this behavior and have the ability to be conscious of it so that I can make sure to try and not repeat it in the future. I wish the same applied to more men and women, especially in underprivileged circumstances in this country and around the world. There are some movie characters with parallels to different types of victimized behavior or lack thereof that people practice in real life.

Non-Victims
Some people can become victims if they choose to be one by letting circumstances get the best of them. However, they instead turn their obstacles into opportunities. Even though successes were made during a point when some of these movie characters had nothing to lose, their behavior and perspectives still remain a good example of not feeling sorry for oneself.

“The Pursuit of Happyness”
(Yes, I know this movie is based on a real-life story but let’s just stick with the movie...okay)
Will Smith’s character Chris Gardner became homeless after a bad investment left him with no money. He could have blamed his mean wife for leaving him and their son when times got rough. He could have blamed his son for being a financial burden. He could have blamed the company that made the product that he invested in for not offering more sales support. He could have blamed God. Instead, he got himself and son into a shelter and then worked on making some money to improve his situation.

“The Full Monty”
Unemployment is no joke. I’m sure that many of us know quite a few people who have experienced it or are currently experiencing it without any job prospects. In this movie, a group off manual laborers have been out of work since their plant closed down. Bills are piling up, custody battles are in play and depression is on the rise among “The Full Monty” movie characters. Among the group of men is a rather enterprising individual who decides to take advantage of a service that he notices is in-demand and capitalize on it with the help of his former co-workers to make money. The plan brings them some unwanted fame and insecurities but guys in “The Full Monty” at least find a way to overcome their self-pity after realizing that playing victim does not help the situation.

“Million Dollar Baby”
A little ol’ low paid waitress named Maggie living in a dump convinces a boxing trainer whose motto is “I don’t train girls” to help her become a World Champion. Hard work, a positive attitude, talent and determination helped this movie character transform herself into something great, even when her family still criticized and belittled her. She could have blamed her father for dying. She could have blamed her mother and siblings for being what many deem as poor “white trash.” She could have blamed her job for not paying her enough to help her achieve her dreams. Instead, Hilary Swank’s Maggie saved her pennies, spent her waking moments in the gym when she wasn’t at work and appreciated the opportunities that came her way.

This is not to say that there are no victims. In fact, here are characters that could use the victim card and would be justified in doing so because they are indeed Victims. The interesting lesson to learn from each of these particular characters though is that they still persevered.....even when they could have easily just sat back and blamed others for their troubles:

Real Victims

“Men of Honor”
Blatant racism....the kind that spits at your feet as you walk pass, like what Carl Brashear experienced in Men of Honor......can surely make someone a victim. This movie character was threatened, abused, his efforts sabotaged and his most cherished family memento smashed into pieces. He had a reason to play victim because he was, in fact, a victim. Carl Brashear still fought his way through the obstacles, all without so much as a single complaint. If you met him on the street in this movie without knowing what he was going through, you would have probably never guessed that he endured what he did in the Navy training.....that’s how well he ignored his victim status and this says a lot about his character.

Self-Proclaimed Victims Playing Victim to Justify Bad Behavior

“Set It Off”
Some of the main characters in this movie do get dealt a bad deck of cards.....but at least they have a job. That is a lot more than the characters in “The Pursuit of Happyness” and “The Full Monty” had, and still.....the main characters in “Set It Off” claim that the “system is fucking us all anyway” so after experiencing a strong of terrible events including unfair bias or judgement, wrongful death by cop and child welfare battles, they set out to rob banks in order to uplift their circumstances.

While their experiences could be similar to those in the non-victim category, the difference is that these “Set It Off” characters brought a lot of their problems on themselves and also chose to stay in the victim category, thus, playing victim for as long as they can milk the title. Being down on one’s luck or not being able to get through due to the “system” (by the way, what in the world is... or... who in the world is ‘the system’...can somebody let me know?) is used as a justification for breaking the law, stealing and putting other people in danger....all which is bad behavior.

Here is a news flash: You’re no longer the victim if you start joining the ranks of the very people who you claim are bringing you down....nor are you the victim if you become a criminal because you feel like that is the only alternative to living down and out since “the system” is keeping you down...the people who are harmed, whether directly or indirectly by your actions become the victim...NOT YOU!

Now, I’m not talking about simple circumstances here such as if someone vandalizes your property or steals something from you.......in these cases, YES, there is a clear victim and the thief or vandal should have consequences determined by the police (the police who are not corrupt, of course) and judicial system (the portion that is not corrupt).....hopefully that includes time in jail.

With that out of the way, I’m talking about circumstances where people blame other individuals or the rich or a group of people or “the system” (whatever the hell that is....REALLY.....can someone tell me what the hell is The System?) or the church or the white man, black man, chinese man, mexican man or foreign man or kids or aliens or Government (I know this one is reaching...since government can be blamed for what they mess up, but you get the gist of it) or nature or animals or the sun or the moon or the zodiac signs, etc. etc. etc.

Playing victim and blaming others for problems that are clearly our own doing does not make those who we place the blame on, the bad guy. We’re still at fault for the problems that we bring on ourselves and until YOU (yes, I’m talking to you....whoever you are...if this message resonates with you) realize that and take accountability for what you do not have or what you do not like....you are still going to be in and remain in the same damn circumstance, and that is no one’s fault. You and ONLY you can change that!

After comparing these different movie characters and their Victim status roles, which one do YOU relate to?

Have you been in multiple victim roles?

How can those who are Set in their "Victim" ways be convinced to change their way of thinking?

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Comments

[HermanTurnip]

Thank you.

After a horrible day at work this is *exactly* what I needed to read. Turning setbacks into success is just the thing that needs doing. And I can't give you enough kudos for your fantastic taste in cinema! The Full Monty is an overlooked film. Million Dollar Baby, The Pursuit of Happyness and Men Of Honor...classics.

I'm now feeling just a bit better. Many thanks, my friend!

[Nicole]

Herman,

Thanks for your comment. I have The Full Monty on DVD. It's shown in the photo on My Movie Collection post that I wrote the week before last while you were camping. It's in the April Archive in the sidebar. I'd recommend reading it....you might enjoy the list :)

I'm sorry to learn that your day at work as horrible and I hope that tomorrow is a better day.

[Arlee Bird]

Excellent assessment of victimization and good movie example. We are all victims of something at some time in our lives. The main thing is to not live out the role of the victim and let it shape who you are. Those people don't progress until they let go and move on. Those who are set in victim ways can be offered encouragement and suggestions of ways to change, but the only real change has to come from within. No one can make them change--they have to want to change and then do something about it.

Good post.

Lee
http://tossingitout.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Tossing It Out