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According to Zoe: How to Be a Total Asshat at the Cinema
Friday, April 1, 2016 at 8:01AM 
Hi my name is Zoe, one of the fashionistas in Nicole’s collection of traveling companions that have hijacked this blog to entertain you for the next 26 days. We call ourselves The Popcorn Snobs.
Just like any good heist movie, our theme -- The Taking of April A-Z – involves a lot of twists and turns; there’s no telling what (or who) is around the corner.
Being the altruistic person I am, I’m going to start this adventure off right by teaching you a single (and simple) skill needed to becoming the world’s greatest asshat at the cinema.
Turn the Brightness level for Your Cell Phone Screen all the Way up to 100%
Boom. Instant Asshat!
Making your cell phone screen brighter is one of the easiest skills to develop because it doesn’t require a lot of effort on your part aside from tapping a few buttons in the settings menu of your phone. Plus, it takes up a merely seconds of your time, so you can spend the remaining duration of the movie doing important things – like texting, taking selfies like I do, and scrolling through other people's selfies on your Facebook feed.
We all know asshats make the world a better place. There are many at the multiplex and you can be one too! All it takes is caring enough to apply this one aforementioned skill during your trips to the movies and you will make lots of new friends.
Some moviegoers will be so eager to sit near you that they will fight other people over the best spot in the house that falls within your vicinity. Moviegoers who aren’t seated near you but witness your acts of asshatery will also sing your praises to the management and staff at the theater.
Hugs and Kisses,
Zoe
p.s.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post from Nate, about his trip to the theater. Oh, and Happy April Fool’s Day!
Zoe is a popcorn snob that believes movie theaters are one of the best places to take selfies, especially after the opening credits roll. She likes romantic dramas, comedies, wine, date nights and Oscar-worthy costumes.
Reader Comments (9)
LOVE!!!
Great job! Asshatery? Should we see if you can get that in the dictionary?
It's going to be a fun month!
Heather M. Gardner / @hmgardner
Co-Host, Blogging from A to Z April Challenge
The Waiting is the Hardest Part
Good one! My guy always gets ill when I have the brightness level all the way up on my Kindle. OK, I'll admit it. Sometimes it's done on purpose. ;-) Good luck with the challenge!
Hilarious post thank you for sharing it. Love the new word asshatery 😊
I love the term Popcorn Snob! Great, hilarious post!
Stopping by from A-Z!
Brandy from B(e) Kind 366
Useful information, thank you :)
Ros
Fangirl Stitches
Travel like a Geek
Oh my goodness! Loved this post.
Heather,
Yes we should get a campaign going for Asshatery to be added to the dictionary. It is a word. Or at least, that's what Zoe keeps telling herself. Ha! I don't blame her...I'm all for it. Thanks for commenting on this blog post :)
Stephanie,
Poor guy. Haha! What a troublemaker you are ;) That's so funny. I've found that the brightness level on Kindles (depending on the model/version) are best turned up when watching videos. Otherwise, it can be a bit much in the evenings when I know I should be sleeping. Thank you for vsiting and sharing your comment here!
Andrea,
Knowing that you were able to start April off with some laughs definitely makes me feel good about letting Zoe and her friends take over this blog for the A to Z Challenge. Maybe you, Heather and I should get together to devise a plan for bringing the word Asshatery to dictionaries everywhere. Thanks a bunch for commenting on this post.
Ros Core,
I passed your comment along to Zoe so she could know the blog post brought some value. She said to tell you that you're welcome ;)
Angela,
What a surprise, right?! Had to switch things up a bit and bring the humor. So glad it worked and you love this post. I hope it put a great big smile on your face as we head into the Spring season.
I'd give it a try, but I'm afraid my husband would leave me!
I threw popcorn at a person who was texting during a movie. Pissed me off because the bright screen distracted me from the film. I threw the popcorn, she looked at me and I told her to turn her phone off. She did. She was only a mediocre asshat at best... :)
Michele at Angels Bark
www.angelsbark.wordpress.com