According to Zoe: How to Be a Total Asshat at the Cinema

Hi my name is Zoe, one of the fashionistas in Nicole’s collection of traveling companions that have hijacked this blog to entertain you for the next 26 days. We call ourselves The Popcorn Snobs.

Just like any good heist movie, our theme -- The Taking of April A-Z – involves a lot of twists and turns; there’s no telling what (or who) is around the corner.

Being the altruistic person I am, I’m going to start this adventure off right by teaching you a single (and simple) skill needed to becoming the world’s greatest asshat at the cinema.

Turn the Brightness level for Your Cell Phone Screen all the Way up to 100%

Boom. Instant Asshat!

Making your cell phone screen brighter is one of the easiest skills to develop because it doesn’t require a lot of effort on your part aside from tapping a few buttons in the settings menu of your phone. Plus, it takes up a merely seconds of your time, so you can spend the remaining duration of the movie doing important things – like texting, taking selfies like I do, and scrolling through other people's selfies on your Facebook feed.

We all know asshats make the world a better place. There are many at the multiplex and you can be one too! All it takes is caring enough to apply this one aforementioned skill during your trips to the movies and you will make lots of new friends.

Some moviegoers will be so eager to sit near you that they will fight other people over the best spot in the house that falls within your vicinity. Moviegoers who aren’t seated near you but witness your acts of asshatery will also sing your praises to the management and staff at the theater.

Hugs and Kisses,

Zoe

p.s.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post from Nate, about his trip to the theater. Oh, and Happy April Fool’s Day!

Zoe is a popcorn snob that believes movie theaters are one of the best places to take selfies, especially after the opening credits roll. She likes romantic dramas, comedies, wine, date nights and Oscar-worthy costumes.

Foolish Acts People Pull at Movie Theaters Across America

Movie tickets are too expensive these days for anyone to have to put up with rudeness at the cineplex. Yet, it’s common to find men, women and teenagers acting a fool in theaters across North America.

Someone brought their screaming baby to a theater where the Sci-Fi action film Insurgent was playing. Miles away at another theater, one woman played video games with the volume turned up on her cell phone during a showing of Marvel’s The Avengers; as if other people in nearby seats didn’t get enough of her earlier antics including scene-by-scene commentary with another moviegoer about The Hulk’s size.

Then there are those folks who recorded the big screen using their smartphone (Um… Isn’t that illegal?) when the martial arts action adventure Falcon Rising was on the festival circuit. Just a few states away, someone pulled the fire alarm during an evening showing of the romantic comedy Couples Retreat. It was the type of foolishness that caused movie goers to be evacuated until firefighters could determine it was a false alarm. One guy at a theater where the comedy Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain was playing decided to catch up on his Zzzz and started snoring so loudly that you couldn’t tell if it was part of the jokes or not.

A is for AmericaThese real life occurrences of individuals who didn’t think to be considerate for others around them include instances of people deliberately disrupting everyone else’s movie going experience. Even in everyday activities, it’s the simple things that really matter in the difference between whether we hold being respectful toward others in high regard or not. The foolishness going on at movie theaters in America is a prime example of how our “civilized” nation still has a long way to go in being the model of what we collectively like to deem good behavior.

What's the most annoying incident YOU ever experienced or witnessed at a movie theater?