What Joanna Cassidy Can Teach Us about Juggling #atozchallenge

Let’s get something clear first – I’m no professional juggler. I’m also willing to bet that you aren’t a juggling phenomenon who tosses multiple balls around at once, while catching each of them, either.

Arlee Bird, founder of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, is the only person I know so far who has the skills and history of touring acts to literally juggle it all. So, why do the rest of us keep pretending we’re some type of paid performance artist who can toss -- and catch -- everything that falls into our hands?

You may not be handling balls or clubs per se, like Arlee Bird, but you’re still trying to juggle the variables that make up your daily routine. I do it too. We all do it. Everywhere I turn, there’s somebody tossing around things, readjusting schedules, overlapping tasks – ahhh, the sweet smell of the multi-tasking life where everything is a blur and he or she is just trying to get through the day. We’re juggling PTA meetings, play dates, traffic tickets, gym memberships, part-time jobs, Facebook status updates, Twitter streams, active sex lives, thriving careers, social calendars, home repairs, grocery lists, and mid-term exams and so on.

The juggling act that we try to pull off reminds me of a teenager named Sue Ellen in the comedy “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” (one of my favorite childhood movies) starring Christina Applegate and Joanna Cassidy. In this movie, Sue Ellen lands a high-level corporate job after falsifying her resume to pass as an adult. She finds ways to cover the living expenses for herself and four younger siblings while their mom is away on vacation. This girl soon realizes how the demands of adulthood are not always as fun as they may seem when she finds herself spread thin between work and family life.

All the while, she also tries to keep up the facade of being “on top of it” all but faces a lot of trouble down the line.

At the same time, she’s maintaining a romantic relationship with a former co-worker and playing pseudo-mommy to her siblings – complete with enforcing rules and trying to carve out quality time for the needs of each one.

The instructions that Sue Ellen’s boss, Rose Lindsey – played by actress Joanna Cassidy, gave her for doing her job well at their company, is the exact way that we should approach juggling:

“Don’t feel overwhelmed, just do one thing at a time.”

As easy as Cassidy’s line sounds, you’d think that we would’ve adopted this way of living, already. The fast paced world we operate in, however, isn’t exactly conducive to a one-thing-at-a-time philosophy. To many people, that’s not the way to get things done, but rather, a way to get left behind. It’s a funny thing about juggling – if you have more balls than you can handle at once, you’re bound to drop some. Now, how’s that for a halfway approach to getting things done! Rose Lindsey a.k.a Joanna Cassidy is on to something with how she told Sue Ellen to handle this new executive assistant position in “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s dead.” I think that something is not only doing one thing at once but also the importance of prioritizing.

If you believe in living each day like it’s the last one you’ll ever have, let’s make these days count by doing the things that are most important to you. The other stuff can get done whenever they get done.

Maybe there will be time for it later, maybe it won’t, but I’ll tell you one thing -- most people who are terminally ill or already on their deathbed probably don’t make statements like “I’m so glad that I just finished that load of laundry this morning,” “I’m at peace because my hurried trip to the carwash was time well spent after running that red light a few roads back” or “I can rest now that I’ve made it to my lunchtime nail salon appointment.”

Granted, this is not a classic movie quote of epic proportions that goes down in history as the greatest line ever spoken in a scene. My hope is that you’ll take it for what it’s worth – a simple and effective approach to juggling all of the balls that life hands us as well as the balls that we willingly pick up, as if we already don’t have a full load to toss.

What are YOU juggling right now?

Do YOU prioritize your activities or are YOU just going through the motions, trying to keep your head above water?

Life is a Game of Inches – The Al Pacino Factor #atozchallenge

*Language Alert: This post contains some explicit language. If you are among the faint at heart or sensitive to certain words, consider this advance notice. **I became sick on Wednesday, so this post for Letter I comes about an hour late. As such, my post for Letter J will be published later this evening.

The ideal guide to life would probably come in several volumes, like the Britannica Encyclopedia, with chapters titled “Do X-Y-Z and you will be happy,” “How to Guarantee You’ll Never Get Fired or Laid Off,” “This is where to find your soul mate,” “The Magic Bullet to Riches” and “The Instant Beautification Plan.” Since no such instruction manual to life exists, we are all left to fend for ourselves – some on an uneven playing field – in a game of chance where the winner takes all and the loser dies alone, unfulfilled and miserable. Lucky for us, the game of life that we’re playing is unlike many board games, hand games, card games and more specifically -- contact sports, where the definition of a winning team and a losing team is so clear, cut and dry.

The winning team in this game of life is filled with Olympic Gold Medalists and Innovators, indeed – but it also contains players (i.e. people) who are willing to do what is necessary for them to have a chance to also be a medalist or MVP. The losing team in this game of life are not just filled with players who just don’t make the cut – it also contains people who tried but quit as well as those who only put in the bare minimum to play the game, as if that’s going to be enough to win.

Players on the winning team – medalists or not – have something in common that those on the losing team don’t possess: an unrelenting hunger or thirst for the edge that’s going to help them reach their goals. Players on the losing team also have something in common – a habit of approaching their objectives halfway, putting in just enough time and energy to get by. The goal – scoring a touchdown, finding peace and happiness, living debt free, becoming physically fit, landing that dream job or profession, buying a house, strengthening friendships, finding love, going on a caribbean vacation – whatever it may be is besides the point. Just when these players think they found an edge by putting in 70% or 90% or even 100% of what they’re offering, those on the winning team go and put in 110% -- because the latter group knows it ain’t over until it’s over!

In Oliver Stone’s football drama “Any Given Sunday” starring Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, Jamie Foxx and Dennis Quaid, a Coach named Tony D’Amato sums up this hunger for leaving no amount of grass out on the field of opportunity untouched, as he likens it to gaining enough inches to score your goal.

“Life is a game of inches. In life, the margin of error is so small – one half of a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it. One half of a second too slow or too fast, you don’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break, every minute, every second,” he says. Now I don’t know about you, but I think we could all use some better handling methods for the inches we need in our lives.

If you want to win in life and play this game as best as you can, you don’t throw in the towel during the second quarter or halftime just because you’re down ten points; hell -- you don’t even throw in the towel during the fourth quarter if you’re up ten points with three minutes left in the game. That is at least, if you want to win – ‘cause the other team could capitalize on those three minutes and turn you into a loser just as quick as you started celebrating your dominant streak.

That’s just how fickle life is – we’re all on edge, trying to find our edge – many, unfortunately, even working hard (and basically wasting time that could be better spent doing more productive tasks) to get one-up on the next person. The alarming fact is, however, we don’t get overtime to try and make up for what we missed during the game of life.

It’s all still a gamble, as we place bets on what we think seems like the best decisions, or the safest decisions about our next move. These decisions guide our actions on the path that is expected to lead us where we want to go or to who we want to be.

The choice of whether to play on a winning team or a losing team is yours; know that you pick one every time your actions either work to the benefit or the detriment of why we’re here in the first place.

So, I don’t know about you but I think we could benefit from being on a team like Tony D’Amato’s group of players – at least they set out to win and get results:

On this team, we fight for that inch – we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces, for that inch…because we know that when we add up all those inches, that’s gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing, between living and dying. In any fight, it’s the guy who’s willing to die who’s gonna win that inch; and I know if I’m going to have any life anymore, it’s because I’m still willing to fight and die for that inch – because that’s what living is – the six inches in front of your face. Now, I can’t make you do it…” says D’Amato; and I don’t blame him. Nobody can make us work harder and have that hunger for the edge needed to survive. We have to want it and do it for ourselves.

The countdown is on, so what are you going to do – how are you going to participate in this game? Are you going to get out on the field and play ball? Are you going to sit on the sidelines and live vicariously through every yard that your favorite player gains? Or, are you going to watch from the bleachers and commentate on the best or worst moves from both teams?

If you want to be on the team that wants to win, your desires must be met with actions that keep your name on that team’s roster. You have to be willing and able to go the distance – inch by inch, play by play, until you make it – until you’re able to live to see another day. Otherwise, you will lose – as you’re time-out in this game gets closer and more permanent.

Can you describe a time in your life when putting forth some extra efforts toward a task, actually paid off?

Are you known for giving the bare minimum performance every time or are you likely to go for that INCH?

Help - A Tale from a Girl with a Pirates of the Caribbean Notebook #atozchallenge

Dear Stranger in Need,

I want to help you but....

There’s only so much time remaining and I’d rather use that time for the purpose of completing the tasks on my own “to-do” list.

We don’t even speak the same language, so how can I solve – or troubleshoot – your problems with such a huge barrier between us, especially when I’m not exactly sure how to solve mine?!

It’s a wonder you even asked me for help in the first place, considering the fact that there are other people nearby who are more equipped to handle your situation – people with more skills, time and patience – people who are actually being paid by the hour to do the very same thing you’re asking of me.

Nevertheless, I’ll try to help you but...

Don’t expect me to work any wonders. I’ll do what I can, which by now doesn’t seem like much because you’re still in the same predicament that you were in before my assistance came into the mix. Now that we’ve hit a brick wall, I’m going to provide you with some options that will at least give you what you need for the time being.

So...

I wish I could do more to help you, for I know what it’s like to be in a position where something needs to be done and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t do it. The customer service representative on the phone is giving me instructions that are difficult to understand, the library where I need to use the computer -- to print out a very important document -- is closing in less than 60 minutes and I’m on a soon approaching deadline that could possibly change my life, for better or for worse.

I know what it’s like to encounter a problem at one of the worst possible times that one could ever pop up and I also know what it’s like to not be able to fix it. I am also all too familiar with the frustrations and discouragement that arises when it seems like all hope is lost because the people who I asked for help were reluctant to help and/or acted like I was bothering them and refused to help me at all.

That’s why the next time you or someone like you needs help – if there is ever a next time, I hope I’m more patient, I also hope I have more useful troubleshooting skills to share and I hope that by then I will have learned how to speak your language so that we can communicate effectively enough to try to find a solution to the problematic task at hand – whatever it is. That’s the least I could do for the very person who inadvertently helped me with my writer’s block.

Thank’s to you, I now have a post for Day 8 of the A to Z Challenge. Thanks to you, I will now think twice about brushing off someone in need of help ‘cause I’m too busy or too uninterested to help that person. After all, Help – and lots of it, is what makes it possible for me to do what I want to do – make movies!

Sincerely,

The Girl with the Pirates of the Caribbean Notebook

What would YOU do if a stranger asked you for help at a very inconvenient time?

How comfortable are YOU asking strangers for help?

Are you more comfortable -- or less comfortable -- asking for help from people who you already know?

*This post is based on a true story.