Monday Movie Meme – Give Me a G for… #atozchallenge

My Art History teacher once said “Life sucks and then you die – but you get to pay some taxes in between.” It is a statement that always makes me laugh because I’ve replayed that classroom lesson back in my head quite a few times since then.

Anyone who has gone through the brunt of some of life’s troubles such as disaster, illness and related woes would agree that, yes, it does suck.

Let’s not forget, however, the one truism that we can always count on in life whether we want to or not – it could always suck more!

You do not have to look far to realize that on any given day, you’re in a much better position than someone else, somewhere, who would kill to walk a mile – maybe even literally -- in your shoes. While everybody’s situation is different, there are usually options for finding an upside in the circumstances, thoughts, people or feelings that often bring you down.

It’s a shame that most of the time, it takes a funeral or the learning of someone else’s plight for us to realize that in some ways, we pretty much have it made – at least compared to worse-case scenarios. Still, looking in from the outside gives us a glimpse of what it’s like to really live a life that sucks. Then maybe we would start to appreciate the small edge that we do have, even if it’s a small one.

Do you want to trade your friends or family for a new set because they aren’t treating you well or showing you respect? Do you think they’re annoying? Mean? Embarrassing? Careless? Well, at least they’re not like throwing televisions or other large electronics at you like Precious’ mother is doing in Lee Daniels’ drama, “Precious” starring Monique, Paula Patton, Gabourey Sidibe and Lenny Kravitz. You’re also lucky that they didn’t lock you up in a cage and act like you didn’t exist, the way King Louis XIV’s twin brother does in the action adventure film “Man in the Iron Mask” starring Leonardo DiCaprio. You also might want to keep in mind that the people in your life aren’t deliberately trying to get you killed like Faramir’s father, Lord Denethor, is in “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.”

Do you hate your job and or co-workers? Do the administrators or teaching staff at your school stressing you out? At least they aren’t black mailing you, following you and putting wiretaps on your every move the way a Harvard Law school grad’s employer and colleagues are doing in the thriller “The Firm” starring Tom Cruise and Gene Hackman. By now, you get the idea that whatever misfortunes have come your way, they can be better tackled – or at least managed well -- with a more frequent practice of one thing: Gratitude.

Share on your blog or in the comments section, ONE movie you can think of that features people showing gratitude. Be sure to link back to this post and visit the blogs of fellow Monday Movie Meme or A to Z Challenge participants. Here is my selection for this week’s Gratitude theme.

Gran Torino

Walt’s neighbors leave flowers and baskets of food on his front porch after he chases away a local gang who attacked their son.

What movie can YOU think of that features a form of gratitude from one person to another?

Can YOU describe one of the most poignant “it could always suck more” moments that you ever had?

Freedom – What’s Your ‘Panther’ Factor? #atozchallenge

*A to Z Challenge Alert:

I’m playing catch-up today after being unable to post for Letter F on Saturday due to no internet connection, so my post for Letter G – including the Monday Movie Meme -- will be published later in the evening on Monday, April 8th.

A Vietnam veteran named Judge tells a neighborhood drug dealer to “Be part of the solution, not the problem” in Mario Van Peebles’ docudrama “Panther” starring Kadeem Hardison, Courtney B. Vance and Tyrin Turner. This scene got me thinking about how we could benefit by adopting the same position in our dealings with people who bring negative energy and vibes to us.

Everybody has problems – some more than others, but even if you have 99 problems like Jay-Z, a naysayer doesn’t have to be one of them. As much as I would like to believe that we live in a world where people do more good than harm, it is a naïve mindset to have, given the fact that many of us are surrounded by individuals who bring us down. That got me thinking about “Freedom,” which is among my most favorite movie theme songs, to date. Produced by Dallas Austin, it features over 50 various artists including En Vogue, MC Lyte, Salt-n-Pepa, TLC, Queen Latifah, Karyn White, Xscape and Patra, to name a few. There is also a Dirty Dozen remix for this song included on the soundtrack for “Panther” that is just as catchy as the main version.

“Panther” is about the formation of the Black Panther Party and the exercising of their constitutional right to bear arms and defend themselves against police brutality and other oppressive acts. This movie and its theme song, however, reminds me of how the people closest to us – family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. – make our lives more difficult than it has to be – especially when we allow them to do so. Sometimes, I think we need to exercise our right to bear arms – not with firepower and ammunition – but with distance and/or boundaries, to defend ourselves against the limitations that other people try to place on us. If you want more out of life, then you have you have to take back your freedom to fly, like a bird, in whatever direction is best for your purpose on earth – kicking naysayers to the curb.

“Turn us loose, set us free from all the chains that bind me. Let us run in our own direction.” – Mary J. Blige and Zhane

There are some people who deliberately try to belittle or even sabotage your interests and efforts made toward something new, different or more improved, because they aren’t doing anything significant with their lives. These are the people who want you to fail or feel guilty about the choices you make.

There are other people who bring you down unknowingly because they don’t seem to understand how their behavior is affecting your mental, emotional or spiritual well-being in a bad way. Then, there are those who bring you down because the force of their own general negative outlook or behavior is so strong that it clouds the sunshine of nearly everyone whom they come in contact with directly. Lastly, we also bring ourselves down indirectly by causing or enabling other people’s problems, instead of trying to be part of their solution.

During one of the meeting scenes in “Panther,” Huey P. Newton asks Judge “why is it that every time a black man goes to lift his head, there’s another black man right there to call him crazy.” Although Huey was focused on the crabs-in-a-barrel mindset plaguing minority communities in this film, I ask myself similar questions with regards to our society as a whole. Why is it that every time someone tries to better himself or herself, learn more, do more, expand his or her circle of friends, quit smoking, adopt a new way of thinking or find a way out of circumstances that he or she does not see as ideal, there is another person right there to shoot down their efforts?

Many women attack the parenting styles, lifestyle choices and other traits of females they don’t even know personally, some homeowners criticize their neighbor’s attempts to beautify one’s front lawn or restore one’s windows, there are people who shun their friends’ and relatives’ attempts to go to college or switch jobs or relocate to a different city, the list goes on and on. These are few of many problems indeed but the most detrimental aspect of them all is the point at which we start to believe, and even act in accordance with other people’s limiting beliefs and views on just about every subject known to man.

“Whoever said these are the things that you can do and the things you ain’t supposed to? So, am I further when I think I’m getting closer?” – Left-Eye

Unfortunately, there will always be people in the world who don’t want you to win – for if you do, that proves them wrong. It shows that the lies they tell themselves about what is and isn’t possible are just coping mechanisms for not having the guts or will to see what’s behind that wall of self-doubt.

It proves that you’re better – and more capable than they ever thought you were or could ever be. It says that the more effort they put in trying to hold you back, the less likely they are to bring themselves forward.

How you respond to other people’s cynicism, however, makes all the difference in the extent of which you’ll be all you can be. After all, if you don’t feel free enough to act on your interests and curiosities, then you won’t and as a result, will forever remain stagnant in a world where things aren’t working in your favor – all because you believe that there are no other options.

“You try to tell us that our lives don’t mean anything, but we know so much better, so we’re gonna take our freedom.”

There are plenty occasions when someone else will imply that you’re too old, you’re too young, you’re too fat, you’re too stupid, you’re too weird, you’re too unattractive, you’re too quiet, you’re too loud, and so on. That does not mean you have to accept their assessment of your abilities and then allow it to keep you down – even if this evaluation is coming from yourself. You can take back your freedom to fly – like a plane with runways or pads ready for landing, in many different places. Where you land isn’t as important as the exercising of your ability to soar, locate and then aim at those available landing spots, in the first place.

Are YOU a part of your own solutions, or are YOU a part of your own problems?

Can you describe a time when you felt constrained, like something or someone was hindering your freedom in one way or another?

I Found the Edge. Can you live there with me? #atozchallenge

*Spoiler Alert: The SECOND Paragraph in this post contains information that reveals important plot points in the film it references. If you have not yet watched the movie and plan to do so in the future, some of the content in the 2nd Paragraph might spoil the plot and your viewing experience. Read at your own risk.

“You’re right, I can do this. I found the edge. Can you live there with me?” is what a Wall Street lawyer named Gavin Banek asks his wife Cynthia in the dramatic thriller “Changing Lanes” starring Ben Affleck and Samuel L. Jackson. It is a question that we must all ask ourselves when making decisions that not only affect other people, but also challenge the very core of what we believe in as individuals – especially if our choices involve dishonesty.

Gavin had been in panic mode after his father-in-law, a partner named Stephen Delano at the law firm where he works, asks him to forge a power of appointment. Stephen’s belief that, overall, he does more good than harm, enables his justification for manipulating the court system and their dead client’s family. A vicious cat-and-mouse game with an irate father named Doyle Gipson, however, causes Gavin to struggle for balance when realizing he is surrounded by a world of stealing, lying and cheating – in the name of the law. When Gavin’s choices put him in over his head, Cynthia tells him that they live in a world where “when a man comes to the edge of things, he has to commit – to staying there, and living there.”

At its most basic level, this movie is about the consequences (albeit exaggerated in some cases) of road rage, but Gavin and Cynthia’s perceptions of the edge illustrates something more profound – a principle that we can all learn from and live by. Every day, in every situation, the lanes that we’re in reflect our choices when aiming for a particular outcome.

It’s sometimes as trivial as returning clothing store items that you wore multiple times, and often, it’s also as heavy as gossiping in the workplace, fighting with your family over who gets what in the will of a deceased loved one, deliberately taking credit for work you did not do or possessing materials that belong to someone else.

Whether you are a pedestrian, bicycle rider, skateboarder, driver, etc. on the road of life, there is always a choice on which lane you’re going to be in. The decision to stay in one or the other or merge back and forth between the two is ours – and so are the outcomes that follow. Lucky, there are exists on many of these roads, giving us an option to opt out at any time to prevent delays or accidents that could occur a few miles ahead if we continue. If our winnings on the routes that we take come at the cost of another person’s misfortune, damage or suffering due to mischievous behavior on our part, then we are creating a disturbance in the world.

It is the type of conduct that contributes to an unbalanced, trouble environment where people get over on each other, operating under a dog-eat-dog philosophy. If you want to live that kind of life, don’t be surprised when the individuals who you are trying to impress turn out to be the very people who are not to be trusted by anyone.

Don’t try to suddenly act noble when you realize that the people you’re set out to destroy might be the same people who are in a position to help you obtain the things you actually need. Don’t get angry when an opponent tries to beat you at your own game.

If you have no interest in living that kind of life, then it helps to find the edge of existence where your day-to-day actions are concerned. The edge is that moment when you choose between greed and integrity. The edge is the position in which you decide what’s more important – rules or rebellion. The edge is that place where you reclaim who you are by prioritizing your values over all else. You have to pick a lane, find that edge and then ask the question – can you live there with yourself?

In what circumstances do you believe you’ve done more good than harm?

In what situations have you done more harm than good?